First Week in Kansas City

Packing up my bags, hugging my three big boys goodbye and driving away from our house was, without a doubt, one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I survived, and we have been in Kansas City for a week now.   

A.J. and I came up the day after Easter, and my wonderful Mom came along with us to help me get all settled in.  Moving into a house we had never seen in person caused a little bit of anxiety, but the house exceeded our expectations.  The house is so cute from the outside, and in such a charming neighborhood with tree-lined streets.  It will be a little tight when all of the boys are here (ok, a lot tight) but is the perfect size for two people.  My sister still has a crib that her boys have outgrown, which worked out perfectly for A.J.!  Within a day of being here he seemed to adjust and calls the house "Addy's house!"  (We call him Addy because his first name is Adam)  He knows where everything goes and how it all works here.  I am a bit embarrassed to say, we might be more settled in this house than we are in our Tulsa house.

I had my first regular doctor's appointment here last week.  I will see the same doctor from here until delivery, which will be nice.  Matthew had been breech, but finally turned head down.  One less thing for us to stress about.  I have an ultrasound every week where they check growth, blood flow through his umbilical cord, movement and practice breathing.  He passed the test with flying colors last week.  He is a little bit shy and almost always hides his face during ultrasounds.  I hope this doesn't continue once he is born- his Momma takes lots and lots of pictures!

My sister lives about ten minutes away, and it has been SO wonderful to spend so much time with her.  She has two little boys, so it has been good for A.J. to have them to play with and keep him busy.  If you can't have brothers around, cousins are definitely the next best thing. This situation would be so much harder without her to keep me company and make me feel at home in a place that is so new to me.

J.P., Luke and Ben played hooky on Friday and came to be with us!  Jack had a baseball tournament, so he stayed in Tulsa with one of his best friends.  We missed having him here so much, but feel so grateful to have such amazing friends in Tulsa who offered to keep him for the weekend.  Luke and Ben were excited to check out the new house, and Ben immediately checked every nook and cranny and made himself and his legos right at home.  Our house is a block from one of Kansas City's most famous BBQ joints, so we walked there for dinner on Friday.  Luke even taught A.J. how to say Barbecue, so I guess he is really becoming a Kansas Citian.  Saturday was a gorgeous but chilly day here.  We took the boys to a park to get some energy out and A.J. was in heaven!  He did the slides about 100 times, and would have kept going until he passed out if we would have let him.  He had SO much fun running and playing with his brothers.  We walked to the other restaurant that is just a block away for dinner on Saturday.  It is a little taco place with a wonderful patio and great food.  It felt a little bit like we were on vacation, walking to dinner and eating outside.  The only thing missing for me was a fun drink with an umbrella in it- that will have to wait a couple weeks.  Having them here was so wonderful, but having them leave was heartbreaking all over again. I tried to talk Matthew into coming early just so they wouldn't have to go, but he didn't cooperate.

As many ups and downs as there have been over the last couple weeks, I do feel relieved to be here.  We are in the right place and doing the very best for Matthew.  As my sister pointed out, I am getting to have a little Babymoon with A.J.!  It has been fun to have so much quality time with him!

Knowing that we will be home, all together as a family of seven, is what is getting me through all of this.  Not knowing when that will be is hard, but I am trying to be optimistic that is will be sooner rather than later.  Two weeks from today, at the very latest, he will be brought into the world and we will know more about what the next steps will be.  Part of me is in a hurry to get this show on the road. Another little part of me knows that he is safe and happy inside, so I shouldn't be in such a hurry.  Like all babies, he will come when the time is right.  In the meantime we will try to make the most out of this situation.  I can't wait to hug ALL of my boys this Friday and have a fun weekend together as a family of 6!

The Calm Before the Storm

The past couple weeks I have been trying my very best to enjoy the calm before the storm.  Knowing that our whole world is about to get turned upside down can be extremely overwhelming, so I have developed a couple of different coping mechanisms.  One is to ignore it all.  While this isn’t a good long-term plan, it has helped me to stay a little bit sane by focusing on the here and now and trying not to worry about what lies ahead.  I have also found this to be a helpful coping mechanism for national politics the last couple months.  The other way I am keeping my cool is by trying to enjoy the everyday ordinary chaos of our “normal” life.  I am trying to be with the boys as much as possible, go to as many baseball games as I can and be here almost every night to put A.J. to bed.  Last year, and in 2014, I challenged myself to a picture-a-day project in hopes that I could capture and soak up those tiny fleeting moments.  The past couple weeks have had the same goal, except I haven’t picked up my camera very often. Well... maybe a few times.  

Since I posted last, I have been to Kansas City again and had multiple doctor visits in Tulsa as well.  The Kansas City visit was short and productive.  We met with the perinatologist, neonatologist, genetic counselor and social worker.  Everything with Matthew looked the same, which is good news.  He had been measuring very small, but has been catching up the last couple weeks.  As of today, he was in the 25^th percentile, which is about as big as any Szafranski boy has ever been.  We make skinny little babies with big heads, and Matthew appears to be following his brothers’ lead. 

We have been working hard to get all the logistics worked out- which is not an easy task.  We found a cute little furnished house to rent on Airbnb.  It will be perfect for us while we are there.  It is located half-way between my sister and the hospital- 10 minutes either direction.  Housing had been a major point of stress for J.P. and I both.  It is going to be a stressful and exhausting time, so it was important to both of us to have a place that felt a bit like home to come back to and recharge.  I will also have A.J. there with me until Matthew is born, so having a place he can run around and feel at home was important too. 

We have a scheduled induction date of May 8 if he hasn’t come on his own.  If that’s the case, he will get to share a birthday with his Uncle Will!  Until then, I will continue to see the doctor every week to make sure he keeps growing and that nothing changes.  The five week countdown is on. 

We have been truly overwhelmed with all of the love and support over the last month.  As I said to a friend yesterday, the phrase “It takes a village” has never been more true.  We appreciate all of the prayers, well wishes and offers of help. There are a few ways to help being organized, and I will pass those along in the future.  For now, just keep baby Matthew in your prayers.