Chapter Two: A Big Decision

I am a planner.  I can’t stand limbo, or the unknown.  So it is with great excitement that I will tell you:  We finally have a game plan for this little guy’s big arrival!  But first, I am going to give you just a little background on how we came to this decision.

After doing some research online and talking to our doctors we narrowed down our best two options to Dallas and Kansas City.  Our doctor said there may be somebody in Oklahoma City who might be able to do it, but we don’t want somebody who might be able to do it, we want somebody who could do this surgery with their eyes closed (although we hope they keep them open!)  

First, we visited Medical City in Dallas.  Ben had surgery here in 2010 for craniosynostosis, and we had a great experience there.  There is an amazing OB down there who only takes referrals and coordinates all the care for high risk Mommas and babies.  He was incredibly nice and optimistic about our given situation.  We were very impressed with the coordination aspect, because that has been a challenge over the last couple months.  Knowing who is taking the reins has been a bit of a challenge, so we were excited by the prospect of knowing that would all be taken care of.  We also met with a pediatric surgeon who went over the entire spectrum of what could happen after our baby is born.

We also got to tour Labor and Delivery and the NICU.  I had a bit of a meltdown moment in the labor and delivery room.  It made everything we have been dealing with and planning for real.  Knowing that the second this baby is born he will be whisked away and be poked and prodded is heart breaking.  A baby’s birth is supposed to be exciting and happy, and for this little guy I know that fear will be the overwhelming emotion.  Until I was standing in that labor and delivery room, looking at the bassinet and the little hat laying there, I had been able to suppress those thoughts and focus on what was immediately in front of us.  In that room, it all hit home.

After I pulled myself together, J.P. had to leave to head back to Tulsa.  I stayed behind for one more meeting.  I met with a Neonatologist, and PICU doctor and one other NICU nurse practitioner.  It was a very informative meeting, but the neonatologist definitely didn’t sugar coat anything.  I walked out of the meeting feeling nauseous and overwhelmed.  It was a long day, and a long four hour drive home to think it all over. 

Ten days later we finally made it to Kansas City to visit Children’s Mercy Hospital.  They were adamant that we do a detailed ultrasound and a fetal echocardiogram before we met with any doctors.  I was a little annoyed by this at first, because it meant spending 3 hours in ultrasounds during an already long day.  Couldn’t they just look at ALL the ultrasounds we have had done in Tulsa?  But I decided to roll with their way of doing things and go with it.  I am sure glad we did!  We got some AMAZING news!  The cardiologist could not see any heart defect at all on the baby!  That means probably no heart surgery down the line and a much more positive outlook for his hernia surgery!  Even the nurse was smiling ear to ear at this news!  We also learned during our ultrasound that the baby’s right lung is still very good size, so more good news.  After all the ultrasounds and meeting with the cardiologist and the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor, we got to tour their labor and delivery and NICU.  Children’s Mercy only delivers high risk babies, so their labor and delivery unit is very small.  They only do about 15 deliveries per month.  However, because every delivery they do is high risk they are extremely well prepared!  The labor and delivery room opens into another room where they will take the baby right after he is born to stabilize him.  Instead of J.P. and the baby having to go a floor down they will be in the next room, where I can still see and hear what is going on.  This makes a world of difference to an anxious Momma!  I didn’t even shed a tear in that labor and delivery room.  It is such an amazing setup for our situation.  We then headed to the NICU, which is huge.  They have 82 beds in their NICU, and take children from 5 surrounding states.  It was sad to see SO many babies in there, but seemed like a wonderful facility.  At the end of our day was a consultation with a neonatologist, surgeon and a genetic counselor.  The surgeon went over our MRI that we had done in Dallas with us and told us what his plan of action would be.  Then the neonatologist told us a little bit about how he would care for our baby.  They both seemed very optimistic, but also said that everything will depend on how he is doing when he gets here.  There is only so much they can learn and plan for while he is in the womb.  We left this meeting still a bit overwhelmed, but with a positive feeling.  We got in the car and J.P. immediately said, “So, do you think it's obvious where we should go?”

We have decided to have this baby in Kansas City!  Every single person we came in contact with at Children’s Mercy was friendly and genuinely had our baby’s best interest at heart.  There were two major deciding factors for us.  First, the labor and delivery.  Knowing that Matthew won’t be whisked out the door the second he is born means the world to me.  He will still have all the same care he would have in the NICU down the hall, but it will be about 15 yards from me.  And J.P. will be able to be with both of us.  The second major factor for us is that Jack, Luke, Ben and A.J. can come visit the NICU in Kansas City.  In Dallas you have to be 13.  The thought of our boys not meeting their baby brother for possibly months was too much for us to bear.  Kansas City is definitely the best place for Matthew and for our entire family. 

We are still nailing down the details as far as timing and where we will actually be living during all of this.  But we are hoping that I can stay in Tulsa until I am 36 weeks along, which will be right around Easter.  In the meantime, I will see my high risk OB every week for a non-stress test and ultrasound to check growth, blood flow and movement.  If they see anything that makes them think I may go into labor early we will be heading to Kansas City immediately.  Hopefully I get to stay in Tulsa with all my boys as long as possible! 

The updates should be a bit more brief from here on out, at least until he is born.  We appreciate all the love, prayers and support we have received so far for this little guy.  We can’t wait to meet him!!